BUT, I NEEEEEEED A CAPE!

1.  I could wrap up in my cape and keep warm during these months of sunless, rainy days when we turn the heat UP to 64 degrees to save money.  Not this this happens much in the Pacific Northwest, but I’m pretty sure if the sun ever dared to shine, a cape would made a good sun shade.


2. I could use my cape to wipe sweat off my brow when I’m working really, really hard cleaning up after my six children, one husband, one SIL and two and a half grandkids. On the days I felt like cleaning, that is.


3.  A cape would be useful in covering up my pj’s when company comes to door unexpectedly.


4.  Since the weather guys are never right,  my cape could double as a weather forecaster.
     If the cape is wet, it’s raining.
     If the cape is dry, it’s not raining.
     If the cape looks like I have dandruff, it’s snowing.
     If the cape has iciles hanging on the edge, it’s freezing rain.

5.  Speaking of weather, my cape could also act as a weather vane.  One of those roosters wouldn’t look too good on my head, but a cape could be styling some serious homeschoolin’ momma’ ‘tude.
     If the cape isn’t moving -wind is less than 11 mph.
     If the cape flaps once in awhile in a sporadic pattern – 12 to 18 mph.
     If the whole length of the cape is flapping – 19 to 24 mph.
     If the cape flaps quickly and is partially extended – 25 to 31 mph.
     If the cape is fully extended – 32 to 37 mph.
      
6.  I could shove part of the cape into my ears to  muffle the sounds of kids whining, fussing, fighting, crying or asking for money.  It would clean out my ears, too, so actually this would be a 2-fer-1 kinda’ deal.


7.  A cape would  cover my hair when it’s raining or when I didn’t have time to comb it. Or when the kids “borrowed” my hairbrush and didn’t return it, for the umpteenth time.


8.  A cape might entice the kids to wipe their bodily fluids on the cape instead of my sleeve, shoulder, etc.My kids are a little past this stage, but I actually think wearing a booger or a baby spit-up wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to look at it.  It could fly behind you, unnoticed, on a cape.
9.   I could  sew  my money into lining  of a cape so the  kids wouldn’t know I had any.  Robbers wouldn’t know about my money either, but a mom loses more money to kids than to robbers, so it’s all good.


10.   A cape would allow me to turn invisible. With all the stuff on the floor of my home, I could crouch on the floor, fling my cape over me in a wrinkled fashion, and nobody would know I was there. I’d be invisible.