Who STOLE My Scotch Tape?

I know this is strong language, accusing my kids of stealing my tape.  My husband always tries to calm me down by reminding me they didn’t “steal” my stuff, they just borrowed it and didn’t bring it back.  If it is borrowing and they never bring it back, then technically what is it? Indefinate Borrowing?  Sounds like stealing to me!

There were some Christmas presents that really needed to be wrapped, but none of my four rolls of tape could be found.  Not even after cleaning someone’s room.

I was tired of fussing.  Tired of whining.  Tired of being ignored.  Tired of hunting and digging and overturning the house for my tape. I didn’t want to mar that wonderful Christmas spirit we all have this time of year while we frantically try to replicate those perfect Christmases staged in the glossy, expensive women’s magazines.

Eat your heart out Martha Stewart, I ENJOYED making the world’s ugliest packages.  If I would have found duct tape, I would have used it in effigy.

See, these presents are for one of my tape-borrowers that has moved out of the house.

He’ll open the package, know instantly what happened, be thankful he wasn’t there when I was looking for the tape, and then laugh.

Maybe, just maybe,  he’ll buy me tape for Christmas.  Tape encased in a fire-proof, child-proof, pick-proof safe with only one key.  I will wear that key around my neck on the gorgeous yarn necklace Beka made with brightly colored plastic  pony beads.

Then, after I clean all the kids’ rooms, I will lock all my fingernail clippers, scissors, pens, tape, etc., etc., etc….inside and live happily ever after.

Meanwhile, I haven’t found my hairbrush in four days, and NO don’t start singing that stupid Veggie Tales song.  But, the hairbrush isn’t a priority, I have more packages to wrap. I HAVE to find my Scotch tape. My Mom would NOT appreciate the blue tape job.  It would bring back too many memories of the years I borrowed her tape.

Oh….well…um…oops…
…..I guess I forgot all about that….
…um….
…..maybe I should go buy my Mom some tape for Christmas…
…and include it in her package of Christmas presents…

….sorry Mom.

Guess I better go find out who borrowed my Scotch tape.