Oh Where is My Scissors?

Other than The Song That Never Ends,
there is only one other song I can’t tolerate,
Veggie Tales “Where Is My Hairbrush?”

Not only are the lyrics and the bouncy tune
stuck-in-your-head-forever-and-ever annoying,
it’s a simple truth I don’t want to be reminded of.
(I know I’m no ‘posed to end a sentence with a preposition,
but when I’m thinkin’ about this topic I get so frustrated
I can’t think where my brains should be at.)

This song reminds me that I have a hairbrush and it’s missing a lot.

Even if I buy EVERY PERSON in the house their own hairbrush, mine is always better,
because it’s easier to find.
Afterall, I always put it in the same spot, so the kids know where to find it.

Instead of taking the time to look for their own misplaced item, they “borrow” mine.
The same theory applies to my scissors, my tape,
anything that I use on a daily basis and have trained myself to put away.

Not only as I missing items, I’m being plagiarized.

Apparently, Lynn Johnston is peeking through my windows
and cartooning all the things that go wrong in my life.

I make frustration, she makes money.

My mom mails the plagiarized cartoons to me in support.

(click to enlarge)

If I ever find my scissors and my tape, I’m gunna’ cut out brown paper and tape it to my winders.

(That’s Kansan for windows, jest in case ya’ didn’t know that.
My recent trip down south gots me still speaking that there way.)

That lady ain’t gunna’ make no more money offa’ my misery.

But, I  can’t stop her jest yet.

Got me some scissors to find.