I woke up to a new week.
A busy, busy week.
A week filled with those wonderful holiday activities we love and those never-ending chores that we don’t really love. The never ending doctor visits adds its normal light frustration and concern.
This morning, to borrow a phrase from Nan, “Christmas threw up in my living room.” It has looked that way for days. I have never had a time slot long enough to finish decorating.
My laundry room grew a mountain over the weekend. If it continues at this rate, I may need a professional guide or crampons to conquer it.
My single sox must have eaten all the food in my cupboard before they ran away.
Monday looms like an unfriendly foe in my heart and mind.
But, really, it isn’t just the house and the demands on my life that made me not want to face the day or the week.
Four years ago today, my husband and I lost a child to miscarriage. I had this weird notion that someday I would “get over it.” I thought maybe I wouldn’t have the bouts of weeping nobody can enter in. You never “get over it.”
The loved ones’ absence, instead of presence, graces every moment, every day and ever celebration, an uninvited guest that refuses to give up their seat around the family table. Sorrow and loss is the real Grinch that wants to steal CHRISTmas and every other holiday. The real Grinch can steal something as small as a normal grocery shopping trip, when it ends in tears and a retreat out of the store.
The Lord all too well understands the loss of a child. In Proverbs 30:15-16, He tells us that are four things that NEVER stop their devastation.
He compares the loss of a loved one and the emptiness of a womb to the horrific natural disasters of drought and fire. He knows the agony of loss and of suffering.
The treatment for all four is virtually the same. Drought and fire need to be saturated with water from the Heavens and the empty heart and empty womb need to be saturated with Living water from the Heavens.
A quick Word study on “morning” gave me the Living water I need for the drought of my aching heart.
My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD;
I rise before the dawning of the morning,
So, this morning, I’m not letting the Grinch of sorrow and loss steal the joy of CHRIST from my life.
I’m seeking His Living Waters to quench the natural disasters of my heart.
"Sorrow and loss is the real Grinch that wants to steal CHRISTmas and every other holiday"I loved the verses you shared about the morning… One of my new favorite phrases is "after night comes the light." So true!
This isn't exactly in context but it's the verse that came to mind as I read your blog: Psalm 30:5 ". . . Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning." Love you!
You sisters are beautiful. Part of why I dared to bare my heart today was I knew that others would share their comfort they received from the Lord.Mary, thank you for giving me permission to be the real me! I would love to have help. SO looking forward to tomorrow.Loving all my sisters today, even those of you who have stopped by, maybe wept over your own loss, or prayed, but didn't comment. May the Lord continue ministering His Word to the hearts of His lovely believers.
Oh yes Mindy, His grace is sufficant for us, He will never leave us or forsake us and we know that Jesus came to earth to heal the brokenhearted as well as cleanse us from sin! I pray that the holy spirit will comfort you today in a deeper way and carry you as you allow Him to heal your brokeness! You are beautiful! xxx
I also lost a child, My baby would be having it's 7th birthday last week. But I do know that through loss God grows our hearts to such a depth of compassion for others. But It is still hard. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. And if your home still looks like it threw up Christmas (mine does also), we can work on it together. Hope you have a good day.Mary
Your child will always be a part of your heart. You are a mom. That was your baby. Cry! I wouldn't expect anything less.
You go girl. That picture is beautiful. I good reminder that the living water revives the dry land.
Trusting that God will grant you His grace and peace this day.Thursday, December 9, would mark the thirteenth birthday of our first daughter. She had anencephaly and was born and went to heaven on the same day. It's so amazing that our other two daughters have December birthdays, so that while there's still the grieving for what we lost, there's the celebration of what we have.Thanks for sharing your heart today.