Writers wax eloquent about this topic.
Comedians garnish laughs and build their careers by bringing it to light.
Marriage counselors discuss it with struggling couples.
Where two or three married women are gathered,
the subject is likely to come up.
Pregnant women are given serious warnings
to watch for this behavior by their spouses.
Apparently, I’m not the only married woman who had this problem.
Durng pregnancy, midnight trips to the bathroom were grueling. I heaved myself up, trying not to bounce my husband off the bed. Because he faced a classroom of teenagers each morning, I left the hall light off. I felt my way down the hallway with my toes, testing one step at a time, so I didn’t lose balance if I stepped on a Lego or a ball. I left the bathroom light off, too.
More than one time I carefully lowered myself onto the seat in the dark and SPLASH! My awkward body made contact with the slippery narrow porcelain ridge then slid into the water. The winter temperature of toilet water in an unheated mobile home was frigid. Heaving a large body out of a small hole was frustrating. Trying to quietly clean up and simmer down in the dark took a lot of energy.
When my dear hubby learned to lower the lid, he forgot where the laundry hamper was placed.
As a newlywed, my friend, Julia, had described marriage to me. She said, (gushed) “I just love picking up his socks off the floor, because it means I have a husband to care for and love.” When reaching for those dirty Hanes, she would think thoughts of love and pray for him. Still single, I pined for stinky socks in my bedroom.
When I married the next year, I got the stinky socks. I copied her loving attitude for many years, but recently had to refresh my attitude.
Our hamper is outside the door of our bedroom. But, night after night, the clothes are dropped in a little pile on the floor inside the bedroom door. The distance from the pile on the floor to the hamper is 59 inches.
I measured it.
Once, to demonstrate to my husband his incompetence, I picked up his clothes, opened the door and deposited them in the hamper, teasing and counting aloud, “One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand.”
I timed it.
He laughed at my Academy Award winning performance, smiled, nodded, and agreed to comply. Score! It lasts a few days every few days.
Instead of forcing the issue, I was forced to look at my heart. I was concentrating on things he didn’t do. Little, tiny things. I was not celebrating the things he does. The big, amazing things.
My husband works 10-12 hour days and cooks dinner at least once a week. He runs errands and fixes things on the weekends. He makes sure I take my medication and brews my coffee every morning. He delivers a steaming mug to my bed or desk, or leaves a love note beside the coffee pot if I am still sleeping.
If he does so much for me, why am I so unwilling to do something so small for him?
I will only have to walk 59 inches.
I measured it.
It will only take two seconds.
I timed it.
Thirty years later, my friend Julia is still right.
Those dirty socks mean I have a husband to love.
That’s a pretty neat thing Scott does with your morning coffee. What a lovely way to start your day, knowing he was thinking especially of you.
Thank you for the honesty in how you write just so you can encourage others.
Dearest Mindy, Your blog brought tears to my eyes. How time has flown, yet it seems like yesterday we were both newlyweds. I confess that I don’t remember our conversation about the socks…. but I am so thankful that you remembered it, and so glad you reminded me of it today. Just this morning I was picking up after my husband and dwelling, as you said, on the negative things. What a wonderful reminder to simply serve and focus on all that our spouses do for us! Satan wants to attack our marriages any way he can, and negativity is one of his many tricks. Thank you again for the reminder to think about the things that are “true, noble, right, lovely, admirable…:”.
Also – I loved how you measured the distance to the hamper! Your honesty is so encouraging. 🙂 Much love to you,– Julia
So glad I found your new blog! I love this post! This is GOOD stuff and a great reminder 🙂
I’m the messy in my family. Grateful for the grace my husband shows me, so I try to avoid fussing when the seat is left up.
Thanks for the reminder, Mindy. God works on our hearts in the little things.
Silly me realized this morning as I watched him if I just LEFT the clothes on the floor, he picks them up in the morning on his way out the door. When will I learn?????
I don’t have a hamper!! I got rid of it after we had been married just a few years when I switched places with the chair (where my husband put his dirty clothes) and the hamper. To be funny he walked over to where the chair now was and put his clothes on the chair!! The hamper has been gone about 30 years as I would rather have his clothes happily on the floor than have hamper bliss 😉 Thank you for the reminder as I have needed it this week!! My husband works 10 hours a day, and this week was off work and fixed several small things which were HUGE in my eyes.
I got such a chuckle over the toilet seat!!
Thank you, Mindy, I needed this heart adjustment!! My husband does lots and lots also and I complain and get irritated because he does not seem to know the difference between light and dark clothes when putting them in the laundry sorter. At least he puts them in! And, he works long hours working two jobs and then coming home to work on the internet business he’s been trying to build in his “spare” time! Sometimes we just need to look at the big picture!
WE had 3 boys and I told them I would fine them $.25 everytime I caught
it up…They have all been married over 30 years and they put it down.
Just love all your Moments..We have a grandson in Prison and the
system is just not fair…your guilty before they hear the evidence…
We continue to pray with you! Pastor & RoseMary