My hubby and kids spoiled me with Christmas presents.
My kids are better shoppers than me and have this great ability to buy me wonderful things
I didn’t know I needed, then suddenly can’t live without. They keep me in style, up-to-date, primped, pampered, and smellin’ good.
They rose up and blessed me, all righty.
I even received two stockings full of goodies. My dear Bethany filled one because she was worried Pops would forget,
as he has occasionally in the past,
but
SHHHHHHH
you didn’t hear that from me.
I might sound like an unthankful brat, but as I think about Christmas, I have to admit there are some things I didn’t get.
Things I really, really want.
Things I really, really need.
Things I feel like demanding by stomping my feet and raising my voice. Hey, if it works for kids, (not MY kids, though) it should work for me, right?
Anyway, I kinda’ think I deserve these gifts, and they would make my life so much easier. After all, life is going to be pretty tough trying to eat up all the chocolate I was given this Christmas.
I decided to publically display my
2012 Christmas Wish List
just in case anybody in my family wants to start shopping now.
What I Really Wanted for Christmas
1. Self-Cleaning Fridge
Must also automatically disintegrate leftovers past their prime.
Should also waft the scent of your choice into the air, offering an array of scents, like rose, lavender, lilac, cedar and pine. Any smell except what you usually smell in a bathroom would be acceptable.
Will be programmed to automatically return to the site they were confiscated from.
Must never lose its flavor and be invisible to kids.
Would mate for life. Forever and ever AMEN!
Would remember what page I’m on without that cardboard with tassel thingie.
A woman’s true love is chocolate. Sorry guys. We need a candy bar that always has one more bite.
There has to be always has enough for one more wipe, especially if the woman of the house is the next person in the bathroom. You know, that woman who is the only one who knows how to hang a roll of tp?
9. Runless Nylons
10. A Bottomless Cup of Coffee
11. A Bottomless Tank of Gas
12. Stealth Scissors
Must to unseen to the eyes of the enemy children at all times.
13. Hand-held Lie Detector Test
Should be able to program in an unlimited number of people without prior consent. Should read minds clearly even though cleverly hidden in a shirt pocket or purse.
Can not be used on Parental Units.
Never.
Ever.
Ever.
Amen.
14. Vehicular Motion Sensors
Will sound alarm when one offspring has invaded another offsrping’s territory. Could also be mounted above bedroom doors.
15. Need Recognition Software
Will quickly interpret needs of child based on pitch, tone, and inflections, and coordinate answer with current bank account balance and/or Mom’s current mood.
So, not to be selfish or anything, but family, are you out there?
Are ya’ reading my blog?
How ’bout gettin’ on that shopping list?
Afterall, you have 361 shopping days to buy me
What I Really Wanted for Christmas.
You're so funny!! Yes, my fridge is dirty again and starting to grow moldy science experiments!!
That was totally awesome. Add my name to the wishlist!! LOL
Made me laugh, for sure! As for the book that remembers the pages, I have one of those! Hubby let me download the free christianbook.com e-reader to his tablet. WOW, what fun that is. It remembers what book AND what page I am on. I have downloaded TONs of free books from cbd…enough to actually pay for the tablet! We also use it a lot for school with the kids.
I've been hunting for the chocolate bar thing for years. Please let me know if you find one. Good list!
Oh Girl, you are GOOD!!I want those things too.Now, where is Santa when we need him?????
Hilarious, Mindy!! I've never thought of any of those. But i think the self cleaning fridge is at the top of my list too!
Laugh Out Loud…you are clever! xxx
Oh goodness! I love your list! Wouldn't it be great if all mommies had those!?
great list…and boy are you hopeful!I laughed when I read the scissors part. No matter how many pairs of scissors we buy…they seem to always vanish into thin air. odd, spooky, but strangely able to trace it back to my children.Kimmiemama to 8one homemade and 7 adopted
Well if you find that self cleaning fridge before I do , You have to get one for me also! We should try and see each other in January for coffee.Have a great new year!