…you can’t reach anything.
My friend Ilona gave me an unusual present at my bridal shower….an ornately painted wooden stool.
She smiled knowingly at my puzzled look and said, “Just wait. You’ll know what it’s for.”
Our first apartment was in an ancient high-ceilinged brick monstrosity whose carpet retained the smell of everything deep-fat fried for the past six decades. The vintage fridge had rounded edges and more chrome than our car. The porcelain kitchen sink was big enough to bathe in, although I never did. The closet-sized kitchen had white wood cupboards with vintage glass door knobs. I was delighted they reached all the way to the ceiling, until I unpacked my new kitchen items. I could reach the lower shelf on tip-toe, but couldn’t reach the second or third shelves. Then, the knowing look was mine as I remembered Ilona’s shower gift. I used it to reach the second shelf, but anything above that level, I climbed onto the counter like I’ve been doing since toddlerhood.
Grocery shopping as a newlywed was fun. I had my OWN budget and could buy my OWN groceries to plan my OWN meals for my OWN husband. Only problem was, are ya’ guessing already? I couldn’t reach the top shelves of the grocery store. Wait, I couldn’t reach the top shelves in ANY store.
I’ve developed a short-person shopping strategy.
The most humiliating option, I ask a tall person for help. OK, it’s cute when you’re asking as a kid, but as an adult that can function alone in all other areas of her life, this can cause a little anxiety. And after reading a blog post I’ve learned this is really insulting behavior, so this became my least favorite option.
A dangerous option, I ‘ve been known to climb on the bottom shelf and swat the item down from the top shelf. I only choose this option if the item isn’t glass and isn’t going to cause damage if I swat wrong and it lands on my head.
The most dangerous option is standing on my cart and swatting the item down with my hand. You can get higher than standing on the bottom shelf, but tend to roll backwards when you thrust upward to grab your item. Be careful about what footwear you’re styling when you choose this option.
A clever Jane-Goodall-chimpanzee-move is to find a tool to use. I’ve used a spatula and a child’s magic fairy wand, ya’ know the one you can get at the Dollar Store or pay $8 for at the grocery store ‘cuz you hope it really is magic enough to turn the whining child into a well-behaved child? As with options 2-3, don’t use with a glass or brain-damaging item.
The ladders in Home Depot say “for employees only” but I’ve been known to use them there’s cranky help or no help. I also help myself to those long hooks to remove clothing from the display if employees aren’t nearby.
Take hubby shopping. Hubby is 5″10, but to me he’s a giant. I stand on a step to kiss him comfortably, but maybe you don’t want to know that. Maybe that step stool would work better than navigating to steps or standing on my toes until my calves cramp.
HEY! The stool!
You mean after 28 years of marriage I finally figured out what the stool was really for?
Read the first in the series, “It’s Hard to Feel Like a Grown-up When Your Feet Don’t Touch the Floor”, by clicking on the icon.