Oh Where is My Scissors?

Other than The Song That Never Ends,
there is only one other song I can’t tolerate,
Veggie Tales “Where Is My Hairbrush?”

Not only are the lyrics and the bouncy tune
stuck-in-your-head-forever-and-ever annoying,
it’s a simple truth I don’t want to be reminded of.
(I know I’m no ‘posed to end a sentence with a preposition,
but when I’m thinkin’ about this topic I get so frustrated
I can’t think where my brains should be at.)

This song reminds me that I have a hairbrush and it’s missing a lot.

Even if I buy EVERY PERSON in the house their own hairbrush, mine is always better,
because it’s easier to find.
Afterall, I always put it in the same spot, so the kids know where to find it.

Instead of taking the time to look for their own misplaced item, they “borrow” mine.
The same theory applies to my scissors, my tape,
anything that I use on a daily basis and have trained myself to put away.

Not only as I missing items, I’m being plagiarized.

Apparently, Lynn Johnston is peeking through my windows
and cartooning all the things that go wrong in my life.

I make frustration, she makes money.

My mom mails the plagiarized cartoons to me in support.

(click to enlarge)

If I ever find my scissors and my tape, I’m gunna’ cut out brown paper and tape it to my winders.

(That’s Kansan for windows, jest in case ya’ didn’t know that.
My recent trip down south gots me still speaking that there way.)

That lady ain’t gunna’ make no more money offa’ my misery.

But, I  can’t stop her jest yet.

Got me some scissors to find.

, , , , , , ,

6 Responses to Oh Where is My Scissors?

  1. Lisa Ferrell May 7, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    I most definetly always hide my scissors and my tape and my favorite pens. Always.

  2. Janet May 8, 2012 at 2:08 am #

    I found my favorite scissors at my married son’s house….. no wonder I couldn’t find them for years…….

  3. Tandis May 8, 2012 at 1:47 pm #

    The comic strip was a hoot! I love your Kansan accent too.

    These things are already starting for me. I thought it would wait a few more years but apparently 5 & 7 are old enough to want tape, scissors, and hairbrushes. =/

  4. Andi May 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    Too true! I also can’t find my “household hammer.” It is always in the shop. Where my husband has like 20 other hammers, so how does mine get carried out there? I think I shall rap the next person who carries it off on the head. If I catch them, that is.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Shining Light or Burned-Out Bulb? | Momma Mindy's Moments - June 4, 2012

    […] The word FIND isn’t my favorite word. If you’ve read my blog even a few times, you know I always have a hard time FINDING things I need, like tape, my hairbrush and scissors. […]

  2. What I Really Wanted For Christmas | Momma Mindy's Moments - January 3, 2013

    […] have found all my hiding places for all my things that I have to hide from them – chocolate and scissors and pens and tape – I want a spray that with one ozone-ruining poof could make them invisible […]

Leave a Reply