I mustered the courage to sightsee in Amsterdam all. by. myself.
I rose on the wings of anticipation and crashed into my closet of reality.
I had nothing. to. wear.
While a group of women fasted from shopping a few years back with the Great Apparel Diet, I forced myself to shop, but bought one black t-shirt, one brown one and a skirt. I promptly lost the black t-shirt on vacation. I wear the denim skirt nearly every Sunday. My closet is still anorexic. After all, you don’t need to make a fashion statement at the grocery store or Target. Besides, if you have just icky clothes, your teenagers never want to borrow them.
For years, anything without baby urp was considered dressed-up. About ten years ago, I upgraded my daily appearance and switched from t-shirts, ya’ know the men’s kind with sayings and places on them, to women’s t-shirts embellished with a few ruffles or buttons. Oh, and I started wearing earrings since little baby fingers were no longer trying to remove the lower lobe.
I entered the world as Mindy the Writer a few years ago and had to learn how to dress like a grown-up for the writers’ conferences and meetings. Well-dressed women were studied and I figured out what clothing appealed to me.
But, enough clothes for a week without doing laundry? Socializing with my husband’s co-workers in the evening?
True confession, business women who know how to dress and don’t consider barf and boogers fashion accessories, intimidate me just. a. little.
I worried about those evening business dinners, because I pictured the men in suits and the women in sophisticated evening wear. Since I’ve spent the last 25 years playing dolls, my only example of business/formal dress is Ken and Barbie. My ratty hair may make me look like a Barbie, but I don’t have her wardrobe. I’ve bought more doll clothes than Mommy clothes, and that’s why I have nothing. to. wear.
Not only did I need clothes, I needed shoes. My last pair of comfortable casual shoes were purchased when Scott and I traveled to Washington DC – 12 years ago.
My daughters graciously informed me they were out of style and told me I couldn’t wear them. I also had a pair of flats that were discarded by a daughter and wore them until the toes curled up.
Scott informed me the “Elf Shoes” should go in the garbage.
I pictures totally stunning, amazingly cute shoes with a little bling. I settled for cute and super comfortable 
from the discount store Ross. My neighbor, Kelly-Across-the-Street, assured me buckles would fit in quite well in Amsterdam. Duh, of course, the Pilgrims! You can see they’ve already been well used trudging through Amsterdam and several pumpkin patches this fall. I already owned a pair of black Born pumps and black flip-flops, so what more does a woman need?
Not only did I need clothes and shoes, I needed a purse. My black purse was a hand-me down from another daughter who bought it on sale at Target. It had so many black scratches covered up with marker, it was beginning to look leopardy. But, isn’t leopard in right now?
Not only did I need clothes and shoes and a purse, I needed luggage. The last time I had a new large suitcase was my high school graduation, and if I’m a gramma, you know it’s been awhile. That suitcase was given a decent burial a few moves back, and hadn’t been replaced.
The one good thing about having four daughters, I have four females who have a great sense of style and shop on a budget. That gene skipped my generation, because my mom can make an outfit outta’ nothing. My cosmetologist daughter took me shopping. I found a few shirts, a grown-up dress and
The Purse! It was love at first sight. Since I wear basically denim and black all the time, color was a good thing to add. (Side note: You know you’re getting old when even your elbows have wrinkles. *sigh*)
I summoned the courage to venture out all. by. myself.
I conquered the anorexic closet when I had nothing. to. wear.
Next, it’s time. to. pack.
We’ll make it to Amsterdam, eventually. Ya’ know, women just can’t drop everything and run…there’s always too. much. to. do.
You are seriously cracking me up, Mindy! I was laughing from the first to the last in this post. We have to meet in person someday. That’s all there is to it! Let me know if you ever come through Eastern Oregon 🙂 And yep, you can by Stacie and I’s triplet anytime 🙂
Every time I read a post of your homeschool co-op, I long to meet with you ladies. You look like you’re having so much fun. I’m enjoying getting to know them through FB.
Deal!!!!!!!! TRIPLETS! Thanks for stopping by today!
One can never go wrong with a great purple purse!
Rock on!! Love it!!
I never imagined the power you feel carrying an awesome purse!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was also reminded that purple was my favorite color as a young girl and I have been splashing my wardrobe and my toenails with purple this year. Thanks for dropping by. So glad we connected again!
Go purple!
Wow! When you said that, I just realized it is the color of the MINNESOTA VIKINGS…no wonder I was drawn to the purse!
Uh oh…. ALMOST all of my t-shirts would qualify for men’s shirts then. =/ 😉
Be comforted, you’re not the only one with a closet that looks anorexic. bleh. I think my closet might be worse. I think it might be dying.
LOVED the purse! Or as I call them, “mom bag”. Sounds so much nicer than “diaper bag” which is what I’m usually hallin’ around. I even saw the plans on how to convert a neat purse like yours into a camera bag. It had instructions how to sew the padding and inserts to divide the space up. It was very cool – if you’re interested I’m sure I could dig up the pattern somewhere.
After a few kids, I realized I could be sporting a diaper bag for a few different decades, the 80’s, 90’s and 00’s, so I also switched to a cute purse.
Now, instead of diapers and wipes, I have to be able to fit a camera and a computer, because when you travel you are only allowed one carry-on. My camera bag only sits at home on the shelf holding my gear now.
I also used to buy little boy t-shirts because I used to be smaller and they were WAY cheaper. Then I realized women’s clothing is designed to fit women, especially women who gained weight and bulk after having multiple children.
I had a friend nominate me for “What Not to Wear.”
Seriously.
So, perhaps my nothing. to. wear. beats yours?
C’mon, I bet you have a closet full of adorable SCRUBS!
Why do we do this to ourselves? There’s no rule that says Moms Who Buy Clothing For Children Cannot Buy Clothing For Themselves…it just happens that way.
It’s the guilt. Moms Must feel guilty– even about feeling guilty. My relatives used to giggle and look at me with embarrassment when someone mentioned make-overs around me. I’ve figured out a way to make the guilt go away and fatten up the closet. Ask me some time. ; )
Why don’t you guest blog? Most Moms I know have admitted their closets are suffering from malnourishment. You have a secret you are wanting to share…
You have dolls that have awesome wardrobes; I claim that my daughters have better wardrobes. (BTW, writer-lady, was that the proper use of a semi-colon? They intimidate me….). Garage sales just don’t have the same selection for adults (or boys) that they have for little girls. I think the bag is pretty awesome.
It is SO much easier to dress little girls, I agree! Life just feels right when you have the right purse and lipstick, doesn’t it?
Semi-colons? They intimidate me, too. I change my sentence around so I don’t have to use them, but you used it correctly, two sentences that are complete thoughts, but ya’ wanna’ join them together?
Oh – and for casual writing ~ such as a blog~ I use other thingamajiggybobberwinkers!