Remember when I wrote about the
City-Slicking Redneck Vacation
I gave the tantilizing promise of showing ya’
a Redneck Breakfast?
Pull out your tastebuds, here’s the recipe.
Wake up when you wanna’
and start a delicious fire in your firepit.
We’ve lost the ability, or actually the desire,
to start a fire with one match.
We use wax fire starters now.
I know, totally cheating, right?
That’s the City-Slicker in us.
It’s now more important to be able to merge
between a Lexus and a Hummer going 60 mph during rush hour.
(City-Slicking Traffic Tip – the more expensive car you pull in front of,
the more likely they are to tap their breaks and let you in.
They don’t wanna’ hurt their precious cars, ya’ know.)
Add a few more logs and a cuppa’ coffee.
For good measure, add a few more logs and
one mystery-reading daughter.
Remember that coffee can from yesterday?
It can easily be transformed into a Buddy Burner.
Cut an opening neatly into the bottom,
like I did,
to slide the fuel inside.
Fuel is a tuna can filled with tightly
rolled up corregated cardboard, then filled with melted wax.
If you add too much, like I did, it is hard to get the flame started
and you end up chipping a lot of wax off.
Add a man’s favorite ingredient – BACON!
It gives a man a reason to hang around and cook the rest
of the breakfast, especially when you forgot to use a
bottle opener to slice open triangular air holes on the top of the can,
like I did.
That’s why the bacon cooked so slowly.
When the bacon is finally crispy and there’s bacon
grease on the burner, you’re ready for the eggs.
Gently dab a few little bacon grease behind your ears
if you want some extra attention from the Hubbster that day.
He’ll be so enticed, he might stop sneaking out to his car
to sniff his New Car air freshener.
Crack the first one open, and when it slides into the gravel,
quickly crack open another egg and hope your wife doesn’t notice.
At this point we considered taking out the
one-burner propane stove to facilitate efficiencies.
How’s that for City-Slicking lingo?
When the third and fourth jumped off the ledge,
just because their friends did,
ya’ gotta’ come up with a new plan.
At this point, Hubby was on his game.
He WOULD conquer the Buddy Burner.
When rain threatens progress and children are still hungry,
throw up the canopy and keep cooking.
Sip more coffee,
then cook this over and over, until all little tummies are full.
Marvel that the day isn’t even half over,
sip more coffee,
then dream and drool about the ribs yer’ gunna’ cook
on the firepit for dinner.
If your coffee has to be made from freshly ground
fair-trade coffee beans,
you MUST be a City-Slicker.
If you’ve cooked breakfast on a coffee can,
and eaten it with gusto,
you MUST be a Redneck!
If you’ve done both,
on the same weekend,
you MUST be a City-Slicking Redneck!
I LOVE this! How fun for everyone and I’ll bet your kids were loving it. Mine would have. Love that hubby managed to corral those sneaky little eggs with a bacon fence, lol!
Thanks for linking up to Making Your Home Sing Monday! I didn’t see a courtesy link back to the meme though! Thanks!
Momma Mindy says
OOPS! Thanks so much for reminding me. Had been so long since I linked up, I forgot all my good blogging manners. Thanks for the gentle reminder. Didn’t you just blog about forgetting…..?? 🙂 Just keeping with the theme.
Tami Qualls says
I should give this a try with my kiddos sometime.
Mindy – In addition to the air holes, you also have to pound the top of the can downward so it forms a bit of a bowl, like a steel drum. The order of cooking food is important, too – fry the bacon to get grease to cook the eggs in and then soak up what’s left while you toast the bread (which I don’t see here at all – maybe it’s a Redneck Atkins breakfast?) 🙂
Momma Mindy says
I KNEW we were forgetting something else! I kept asking everyone, “Was it this hard at SBL?” Of course, none of my kids remembered anything about Buddy Burners, except their eggs tasted funny. The problem with the bacon was, we bought the good stuff that had no grease. 🙂 Thanks for the tips!
That is totally awesome!
Momma Mindy says
Since you are also a self-proclaimed camping redneck, ya’ might want to bring that tent trailer to my backyard and let me make ya’ some breakfast!
Love this post!! 🙂 I just became one of your faithful followers and look forward to getting to know you better.
Hope you have a blessing-filled week-end. 🙂
Momma Mindy says
Thank you so much, Lisa, for your kind words. I didn’t recognize your name until I went to your blog – of course, Olive Plants! The feeling is mutual, I look forward to getting to know you better through your blog. Also, I get to relive those years when my kids were little. Sigh. 🙂 Good thing I have grandkids…
You really do belong back here in the midwest…preferably Wisconsin. 🙂
Again, I enjoyed your post!! Keep posting, as I look forward to being one of your readers 🙂