Today is our 27th wedding anniversary.
I’m thankful for the years together, and blessed that we’re still best friends and deeply in love. With the grace and strength from the Lord, we’re experiencing the marriage we purposed years ago to have.
People who don’t know us may think our marriage is happy because our life has been easy. The exact opposite has been true. We approached the financial problems, parenting, health issues, many moves, and job challenges with the goal of drawing closer together instead of further apart.
It wasn’t just a goal or a glib platitude; we fought for this. When our marriage was tossed into the storm, we clung to each other and the Lord.
The cord of three is the rope that rescues.
PRAY to FIND EACH OTHER:
Like most young people, our marriage really began with the earnest prayers we poured over our respective lists of “Things We Want in A Spouse.” Along with the prayers, we purposed to wait patiently and not compromise our standards. We were willing to wait for the person that suited those attributes we each desired.
PRAY to HELP ONE ANOTHER:
Complete unity requires complete honesty. We tell each other absolutely everything. The only information we withhold is in a counseling situation if we are asked to not tell our spouse.
Complete honesty means complete honesty about our own life and each other’s. We take the Biblical instruction to exhort, encourage, and rebuke one another to heart, knowing we’re brother and sister in the Lord. We pray about each other’s strengths and weaknesses, then we may speak about them, then we pray more. It is vital to not only point out spouse’s spiritual gifts or their faults, but to pray for them.
I specifically pray for my husband concerning his spiritual gifts, relationships, parenting, work performance, wisdom, blessing, his Bible reading and Biblical understanding, role as an elder, and unsaved family members. I pray specifically for situations he needs to make decisions about, about conversations he needs to have or is having, and for his influence on others.
For myself, I pray to love, honor, and submit to him. I desire to be a good helpmeet and not be selfish. It’s too easy to have a Disney princess mentality, thinking your husband’s purpose in life is to make you look and feel like royalty. Sometimes it is about cleaning toilets and being alone because your husband is spending time with the kids, other believers, or is in the Word. I pray my my joy and strength would come from the Lord so I don’t drain my husband with demands that aren’t his to meet.
PRAY for UNITY:
Because I purposely chose a man who had the Biblical doctrine, parenting ideals, a work ethic, future plans and beliefs on marriage roles I could wholeheartedly submit to, our marriage has been one of little major conflict. I get cranky about dumb stuff, we may argue because we are frustrated about something/something else, but we don’t disagree on the major issues in life.
We make decisions together. We pray about things, then decide what’s most in accordance to the Lord’s Word. If it isn’t a spiritual issue, we just ask for wisdom.
When we do disagree, we pray for unity. Someone has to change. Instead of each insisting on our own way, we commit to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to change our hearts. Disunity is lonely in a marriage, and the Lord wants our hearts unified as much as we long for this.
A specific example has to do with the number of children we wanted to have. Since I was 12 years old, I wanted six kids. During our engagement, my husband thought four would be a good number. Once we began having children, he thought two would be a good number. Although my heart wanted six kids, I could feel them in my arms before they were there, it was more important to me to have unity. I prayed and prayed for the Lord to unite our hearts and plans according to His will. The Lord answered my prayers. One pregnancy at a time, my husband’s mind was changed, by the Lord, not by me. We have six children, six that were a blessing in unity, not a happening because I insisted on my own way.
PRAY through SCRIPTURE:
Another way prayer has blessed our marriage, is by praying specific Scriptures in the Bible for ourselves and for one another. We pray for the children this way, too. It’s more powerful to use the Lord’s words in prayer and we’re more likely to be praying in His will.
PRAY to STAY
Staying in the race isn’t the same as finishing the race well. Growing up, Scott spent much time with an older couple in the neighborhood. At times being in their little home was like being caught in the crossfires of a world war. Their communication over 50 years had been yelling and bickering, even though the love and commitment were real.
Through each stage of life, your marriage must grow and change with you. It gets better, it never gets easier. The challenges of live only increase with the increasing demands. Pray to stay your way through.
Tying your marriage together with a cord of three that’s strengthened by prayer, is how to make your anniversaries happy.
To read other posts I’ve written about love and marriage, click the image or link below.
Happily Ever Afters Don’t Just Happen The Man She Married
Ten Things to Look for in the Perfect Man Laughter Doeth the Marriage Well
Reblogged this on cftc10.
Happy Anniversary!!!! Loved this post. It is a wonderful testimony and encouragement to all married couples.
P.S Who is the really young couple in the picture??? LOL
Happy Anniversary! I love your dress! Isn’t it amazing how fast those years have gone. I find it a bit scary that I have two young adult children because I’m not sure that I feel old enough to have that, lol!
I like what you said here “I don’t drain my husband with demands that aren’t his to meet.” Because that is an easy thing for a new bride to do, to demand and expect that your husband meet your expectations, when they aren’t his to meet!
It’s weird that we’re “married 27 years” not “married and 27 years old.” I still think we’re so young then I look at my kids, my grandkids and my face in the mirror and I realize time really has slipped through my fingers.
The dress was my mother’s – it was a thrill to be able to wear it. She and my grandma made it. My younger sister wore it, too. My daughters are all taller than me and lament they haven’t fit the dress since they were 11.
Ruby, I knew we had much in common! Yes, we are blessed and we express that often. I wonder how in the world was I smart enough at 21 to choose Scott? 🙂
Yea, the confidentiality is hard, because we tell each other everything and I value his advice. Sometimes I will ask another woman if she minds me asking Scott to get his counsel, and often they will say yes. The only things he doesn’t share with me is concerning what happens during elders meetings.
The women down under are blessed to have your wisdom, Mumma Ruby!
Happy Anniversary to you both!! You were married just weeks after us. You are very blessed to have one another.
That comment you made about not sharing confidential information is something I find tricky. There have been occasions when I have felt I needed to share with my husband to explain a) Why I am spending so much time with someone. b) Perhaps why I am down or agitated etc.
Joanna Pearson says
Happy Anniversary!!! I loved what you shared about prayer…your husband is very blessed to have such a faithful, supportive, and joyful wife! One of these months it would be great to see you again!! I’m thinking that when I can figure out a way to bring up one of my brothers they can help me with the extra driving, and I’ll come meet with you all then. Thanks again for encouraging me on. Whether single or married how wonderful it is to have a heart that is communicating with the Lord through prayer!!! I was blessed through this.
Joanna, it would be wonderful to have visitors at our small assembly. Please, know you are welcome! We’ve grown even smaller and some of the grammas have serious health issues, so would love any encouragement that comes our way. Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate you so much!
DeAnn Sather. says
Happy Anniversary Cousins! I remember this wedding and the love that abounded. Many blessings to you and Scott.
DeAnn, thank you so much for sharing that day with us and the anniversary wishes today. That is always what makes everything even better, the people you share your life with!
Happy anniversary! Beautiful post 🙂
Thank you! We’re so thankful for what the Lord has shown us through marriage.
Happy Anniversary to a beautiful couple.
May your coffee cups always be full. 🙂
A beautiful blog as well. A section that I pray about is this…
“I pray my my joy and strength would come from the Lord so I don’t drain my husband with demands that aren’t his to meet.” I KNOW that sometimes (ok, a lot) I drain my husband instead of turning to the Lord who should be my Solid Rock. Thanks for the encouragement in this blog to pray.
Aw, thanks. It has been fun today to reflect on the “fullness” the Lord has provided.
Happy Anniversary to you both! “Heirs together in the grace of life..” 🙂
Thank you so much, Lisa. I forgot that reference, so thank you for sharing. It is a beautiful way to describe a Christian marriage.