If you read carefully, following the given directions,
you will find yourself delightfully speaking
the vernacular of northern Minnesota.
Warning: It’s addicting.
FUR SHUR.
DIRECTIONS:
1. If the letters are capitalized, speak a little louder, with a slight accent.
2. If the letters are hyphenated, draw it out.
3. When vowels are long, they are pronounced with a long, full, round vowel tones. Think BIG. Think open mouth, insert vowel.
4. Short vowel sounds are usually followed by the schwa sound and a slight inflection.
ex. mad is pronounced ma-ud
5. Long vowels are usually followed by the schwa sound.
ex. face is fA-us
6. If all the letters are lower case and non-hyphenated, speak them in a sing-songy way.
7. When a so is at the end of a sentence, or in the middle, or is the sentence, it rises in pitch until it sounds like you are asking a question. Of course, it is a question nobody will answer.
8. The terms “ya, you betCHu”, “oh, fur Pete’s sAke,” and “Okie dOkie,” have a broad interpretation, anything from “I agree,” “I think you’re lying, but Scandinavians don’t call other Scandinavians liars,” or “yea, whatever you say.”
OWt on du lAke, dey drilleDT FIFte-en tousant holeS, dere on Cross Lake for du Ice fishin’ contest.
Dey musta ha-ud holeS in dere headS.
It vas colt dat day. So….
Day say Tom CruiSe haS a cabin on dis here lA-uk,
but nobuddy seed him yet.
Fur shur, yu gotta uSe (s not z) bait, ya know, yu get dat down at du gasstashun, ya know.
dOnchu tink Jon (Yon) looks like he’S havin u goot time?
Ya, you betCHu, GramPU PIE-U he’S havin u goot time.
(I hope that is something Finnish having to do with Grandfather…
…that’s what I’ve always been told)
Sumbuddy’s gittin’ a littull chillE dere, fur shur.
Yu know, dem dere city slickers ain’t cut OWt fur du MinneSNOWta winterS,
ennymore, ya know.
Oh, fur Pete’s sAke.
Sumbuddy got a little bort and made a pond fur du bA-ut.
Fur cU-uht, dat dere be my littull boy, Jon.
I dont tink dis lookS lI-uk fun,
but dem menfolk, day vood do ennyting to get outSide in the vinter.
Donchu voory ladees, dey onlee vay du feesh.
Tree generAshuns of great white feeshermen.
Fur cryin OWt loudt, day got skunked dis here day.
So didt all du udder feeshermen.
Dey onlee gafe uvay seventE fIfe priSeS dat day.
It vas so colt, Even du lawyers had dere hands in dere own pockets, ya know.
Fur shur.
*************
My Mother-In-Law gave me some great advice when I married her son,
a born and bred Minnesotan.
1. Don’t gut a deer.
2. Don’t clean a fish.
3. Don’t use the grill.
Because once you do,
you will always have to do it.
Wise, wise woman.
She knowS how tu be u MinneSOtun voomun.
Will's family has a cottage on a lake in MinneSOTa. Love it when we go visit. The Yoopers have a similar "brogue". That Scandinavian heritage!
Mindy- Have been reading your posts for only a few days now, and was laughing through this one! Loved it! Growing up on the lake and watching this every year is something I would never want to miss out on, but your M-I-L is a very wise woman!! 🙂 After totally understanding the title without any explanation, (and not really understanding the need for one!) I realized that I am a full bloodod minnesotan! Ha!
This is great!! My hubby used to live in MN for a couple of years…. this is all he talks about. Going Ice Fishing. He so badly wants to move back – just for this. I'll have to show him this post.
Hey Mindy…all I can say is…it's looks freezing! It's weird looking at ice when it is so hot outside! xxx
Grandpa looks so happy to have Scott and Jon visit! I can't say I understand why they decided to go the middle of the winter instead of a summer fishing derby but I guess no mosquitoes this way!
that's why there are very few female wrestlers – the thought of standing on a scale in front of the whole team and having your weight shouted out loud is just too much for women to handle…
haha! weigh in! 🙂 Why are we all so terrified of weigh-ins?
This was SUCH a wonderful post!! I was smiling through the whole read! I could just hear a tiny little woman narrating the whole thing! You're so creative! LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT!!! My childhood pastor was from North Dakota and us Kansan folk (keep in mind I grew up right in the middle of wheat fields) always gave him a bad time about his accent. He would talk about his GRAN-pa and we would laugh because all we had in Kansas were GranPAWWWS. "Y'all come back now, ya hear?!" Ha! I love the sounds of our cultures!
That made me smile. All the better reading it with a Minnesota accent.