As a zealous new believer
reading the account of Peter’s denial,
I was aghast.
I was pretty sure I’d never do that.
I was astounded when I read of Sarah’s sense of humor,
of Jonah’s jolt and the Israelites’ indignation in the desert.
I couldn’t accept their lack of faith.
I’d been recently delivered, saved, was washed in the blood of the lamb
and I was pretty sure the whiteness of my righteousness would never be so sullied.
I was wrong.
Like Sarah, I have laughed in disbelief at the Lord’s promises.
In fact, I’ve even repeated in my heart what the disciples accused the sleeping Savior,
“Lord, don’t you care?”
I’ve been discontent with my circumstances.
Recently, like those children on the sea shore, I’m not believing the sea will part.
I’m quivering with the Egyptians at my back.
We picture denying the Lord as standing before a vicious crowd
to be attacked with a sword or burned at the stake
and crying out in fear, “I recant!”
is not believing His promises
and not accepting life circumstances.
We don’t have the trials mentioned in Hebrews 11, but we daily have tribulation.
We’re called to cancer and illness.
We lose children as prodigals or to death.
We follow our husbands to states we might not have chosen ourselves.
We’re falsely accused, fired, involved in accidents,
suffer abuse from unbelieving family members.
There’s not enough time, enough money, or enough love.
The past haunts us, the present hurts us and the future horrifies us.
Our hearts cry out in this wicked world because
we don’t belong.
Like the force of a million tiny raindrops pouding together in gale force wind,
these trials compoud and tear at the body, soul and spirit.
We each have the chance to use these trials to
proclaim our faith
deny our Savior.
Peter was wrong.
The capture of Jesus led to Him being the captain of our salvation.
Sarah was wrong.
Her laughter led to a leader whose descendants numbered more than the lights in Heaven.
Jonah was wrong.
The Israelites were wrong.
I’m quaking in fear over a few circumstances in my life.
The trials have stretched on for so long, I’ve begun to lose my grip on faith.
Thirty years later, I admit, I’m just like Peter.
Remember what our gracious heavenly Father said to this dear brother?
He prayed, not parted.
He comforted, not chastised.
He reminded, not rebuked.
But I have prayed for you,
that your faith should not fail;
and when you have returned to Me,
strengthen your brethren.”
Remember, in the garden? He prayed for us, too.
So, as I daily live and breath with trials pressed around,
my blogs record the restoration
I’ve sought with tears and anguish,
gleaning enough faith from His Word for just
Even in our denial,
the Lord wants to restore and use us.
He is an amazing God and Father.
Press on, suffering soldiers,
What will you choose today?